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Domenico is a sensitive poet of dubious talent. His origins as an Italian nobleman have left him with a taste for the finer things in life, such as gay porn, pretentious literature, and pretentious literary gay porn.
Etienne is a former French peasant and party boy with a (perhaps overly) vivid imagination. He likes cake and puppies, and hates girls who are prettier than him.

             Kate and Doug
Kate and Doug were Domenico's neighbors while he and Etienne were broken up. Doug is the straight man (in more ways than one), and Kate is a fangirl of more than usual craziness.

Gustave is Etienne's pet turtle, also a vampire. He suffers from existential angst.
Mysterious Shadowy Figure
This mystery man holds the key to Domenico's Dark and Sexy Past. He has really long hair.

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